Book Cover. A travelers guide to Mars.
A Traveler's Guide to Mars. A friend found this at a used bookstore for me.
Book Cover. A travelers guide to Mars.
A Traveler's Guide to Mars. A friend found this at a used bookstore for me.

Martian Babies

Well, it’s no surprise that when my girlfriend found out that I qualified to be a Martian astronaut that she wasn’t supportive. I said: “Huney, just think, we could have the first Martian babies ever! Still, she wasn’t convinced. However, coincidentally she found this book at a rummage sale on an island in Washington State, so she felt she “had” to buy it for me. It turned out to be a wonderful birthday present.

More funny things my friends and family says:
  • You can be the first person to plant a flag in Mars and claim it for myself. And your girlfriend, she’ll be like the Betsy Ross of Mars.
  • I can see you going to the moon — maybe — but Mars is a stretch beyond imagination.
  • Are they going to give you a cyanide pill inside your tooth? A lot of stuff could happen. You don’t want to die a horrible death. You want to be prepared.
  • I don’t think you understand what it means to “colonize” Mars.
    You hear that, honey? She’s saying I’m going to be forced to copulate with other women.
  • Sounds like of Chris McCandless and Alaska and Scott Stoll on Mars.
  • Me: In part, it will be financed by a new social media phenomena called “crowdfunding”.
    My mom: The earth is too crowded, so we’re going to send people to Mars?
    Me: It’s like an insurance policy in case humans blow themselves up.
  • Friend: Do you know how cold Mars is? Tropical Mars is like winter in Antarctica.
    Me: Don’t worry. I’ll terraform the atmosphere once I get there and give global warming a whole new meaning

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