A summary of his return home and lessons learned
A note from Scott: If you’ve read Falling Uphill, you know that Dennis accompanied me halfway around the world on a bicycle. Many of you have wondered what happened to Dennis and if he found what he was looking for when he returned home. I’m honored that for the 25th anniversary of my website — a website Dennis helped build — he has written this wonderful story complete with important life lessons.
One lesson that I learned from Dennis — and admire greatly — is his ability to follow his heart. Without him, I would have been stuck in my head just thinking about cycling around the world. Another lesson I learned from Dennis is the power of a true friendship. He recently thanked me for taking the risk to ride around the world with him, but as you can see, I should be the one thanking him. Anyways, enough about my lessons. Let’s hear what Dennis has to say.
Recently, Scott asked me to share what I have experienced in life since our bicycle trip. Our trip for me was mentally and emotionally a divider between the life of my former self and the person I am today. Scott’s request also stirred questions that are not so easily answered. For example, how do I surmise the last 20 years of my life? So, I did the natural thing and procrastinated writing this article. But I finally followed through. A quiet weekend in the woods did the trick. So here goes!
After Scott and I parted ways in Turkey, I returned home and moved back into my house in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I resumed my old life in many ways, but my endeavors lacked purpose and felt hollow. In search of a new adventure at the age of 39, I considered college for the first time. On a tour, I saw an X-ray of a human torso and was enamored with the thought of a career creating these striking black-and-white images. So I enrolled as a radiology student and took a job as a bus driver to support myself until graduation. But even with these new goals, I could not shake an increasing sense of loneliness that had started during my travels. I remembered, towards the end of my bike trip, seeing an elderly couple on the sidewalk in Budapest. I was sitting in a cafe as I watched them through the window. Just by their mannerisms, I could tell they cared deeply for each other. I felt so lonely at that time, I lost my appetite. This lingering sense of loneliness never left me, but then I met Alicia and everything changed.
We met through a mutual friend, and after an initial cautiousness, we very quickly became inseparable. Alicia is a visual artist who works in collage and mixed media. She has an amazing flair for style and a love for vintage and antiques. Shortly after we met, she and her son Lucas moved in with me. We then opened a retail store called Mommalicious, which became a beloved oasis of the tasteful and bizarre. Where else could you find a fabulous dress and a preserved shark in a jar? We continued building our lives together by getting married at home. I was so happy to be marrying the love of my life. We will celebrate our 20th anniversary this October.
Soon after our wedding, we took our biggest risk: we bought an apartment building that was, to say it kindly, a “handyman’s special.” At the same time, I was approaching graduation from college but had soured on the medical field. It felt like there was too much emphasis on business and too little attention to empathy. I recall excitedly running to Mommalicous the day our mortgage application was approved. The building was one that we loved, and since it had a retail space, we could be our own landlords. It felt a little crazy, but it just felt right. Similar to the feeling that I had when Scott announced that he wanted to travel around the world by bicycle, I knew I had to try. So I quit school and became a bus driver/landlord. It turned out that following my heart was the right choice. Not that there weren’t difficulties. Through the years, there were many times I felt overwhelmed doing renovations while maintaining a full-time job. On the bad days, I questioned my sanity, but it was worth it. We love where we live.
All these events happened during the first 3 years of returning home, and what in hindsight feels like a whirlwind. Yet it created the life I have today. It is a wonderful life. I have never been happier. A few years ago, I experienced a great deal of anxiety about getting older. It was triggered by an ornament on our Christmas tree. The ornament was a picture of Lucas when he was 3 years old, with a frame made of popsicle sticks. I had seen the ornament many times, but this moment unleashed a flood of worry about the passage of time. I asked myself the questions: What have I done with my life? What am I doing with my life? What will I do with the time I have left? I sought out friends’ advice (including Scott), read books, and went to therapy for the first time in my life. All of these efforts helped in their own way. What I learned was to be grateful for everything I have experienced and everything that I still may encounter. It doesn’t remove the specter of mortality, but it does give added meaning to the small pleasures in life. Appreciating these seemingly insignificant events are the foundation for my happiness.
I resigned as a bus driver over 3 years ago and consider myself semi-retired. I work part-time for a company that imports Scandinavian candy. The job allows for generous time off for travel. So I am exploring the world again, but with Alicia in a much more luxurious fashion. We don’t know what adventures lie ahead, but we’ve learned to look forward to these mysteries.
I am very grateful to have had the privilege to travel with Scott. To see the world by bicycle is an opportunity few have and even fewer take. The most important lesson that I learned from our trip that transcends travel is that if it feels right, just dive in. You won’t regret it.
