Dieting sucks the fun out of life, eating lettuce-wrapped nothing burgers and spending long hours picking things up and putting them down. And for what? So I can look good in front of a mirror? I’m not saying anything you don’t already know, but it got me thinking…
Did I miss the most obvious rule on my Do-Nothing Diet? Maybe I don’t even need to diet. Perhaps I need to accept myself the way I am.
So, I’ve been giving acceptance a lot of thought. It’s a mature version of f@ck it! As I grow older and see those ravages of time that can’t be fixed — scars and wrinkles and sun spots — and the endlessly appalling news cycle, acceptance has become an art, an ability to look at the world and just think, “It is what it is.” It’s not my job to run around trying to fix things. Acceptance was key to helping me recover from that slippery slope of depression. I used to blame myself for not being happy until one day, I realized that it was okay to be sad. That sounds obvious, doesn’t it? But allowing myself to feel sad honored that emotion, and I was able to let it go.
It would be the easiest do-nothing rule — accept that I am fine the way I am. Forgive myself and forget about it. Voilà and done. Wouldn’t being slightly out of shape be healthier than being stressed and unhappy?
After a year, I’ve lost about ten pounds and can manage two pull-ups at the playground. That’s it. That’s my progress. I don’t know what the problem is. I feel like I am dieting. And I think I’m exercising. Maybe I’m getting old. Is my metabolism shutting down?
It is a serious question: Is my body the result of being a middle-aged man? Do I need to accept this? Give myself an attitude adjustment and go back to enjoying my life.
When considering to accept a situation, I have to ask myself three more questions.
- Is this a real problem?
- Does this problem belong to me?
- Am I willing and able to do something about it?
While watching the news, I ask myself these questions all the time. And the answers are usually: Maybe, No, and No. Even if all the answers are yes, I still have to ask one more question:
Am I willing to give up my own life — my own dreams — to solve this problem?
The answer to that question is rarely yes.
So, regarding my health, I took the time to analyze and measure the situation. Blood pressure — bad. Calorie intake — too many. Weight — I was in the orange, which is obese. Alcohol — way too much. Did you know that one IPA actually counts as three or more drinks? Same with a martini. Suddenly, a fun night out of three or four drinks became an overindulgent night of 12 drinks. Whoa! Endurance — poor. I went out for a jog and sprained my ankle. Another measure that saddened me was that I realized the ladies no longer gave me a second glance. I also took a small survey of friends, but only one was willing to tell me that I needed to lose some weight. I’m grateful for that now, even if it was hard to hear. By hard to hear, I meant it was difficult to believe that I had gone so far off track.
The obvious answer to question #1: Is this a real problem? Yes, there really is a problem. Acceptance is not a solution in this case.
The less obvious answer to question #2: Does this problem belong to me? Yes. This is less obvious because of the world we live in. On the one hand, if you feel anxious, for example, it belongs to you. On the other hand, if you can’t find an immediate reason why, it may be that you are surrounded by anxious people. I think our media is designed to raise emotions like this. Or you may think of it as the vibe of the room.
And the not-so-obvious answer to question #3: Am I willing and able to do something about it? I’d like to say yes. I thought I was saying yes. But my results proved differently. Alternatively, I could say, “Being overweight is a problem that will probably give me a stroke, but I accept the future consequences for the joy of the moment.” But I don’t want to accept this risk.
It seems my problem isn’t acceptance but commitment. I need to take dieting out of the realm of logic and make it an emotional reality. I’ll have to think about how to get committed. If I had the answer, I would already be committed. So, stay tuned for the next installment of my Do-Nothing Diet.
Even though I’m not accepting my current situation, I still think acceptance is a great starting rule. I believe it solves most problems before they even start. Stop and think: Is this a real problem? Does this problem belong to me? And, am I willing and able to do something about it? In other words, will your life and those that you care about be best served if you take on this challenge?
