A foster cat waiting for the door to open.
Kona, our first foster cat waiting for the door to open. She reminds me of how often I wait for opportunity to knock.

Finding purpose in life

Your hero’s prize

The sphinx asking a riddle: "If you could do anything, what would you do?"

This article is part of a series:

How to be the hero of your own life

When beginning a classic adventure, my first recommendation is to set a theme for your journey. A theme turns wandering into a quest. Rather than stumbling through Europe with a backpack, why not set out to discover the best spots tourists never see? Why not search for the 10 things Europeans do best? The possibilities are endless. Our adventure through life is much the same; it can also have a theme or purpose. Have you ever noticed that every hero has a purpose so strong that it drives them forward in life despite themselves? Have you ever wondered what your purpose is in life? Or what will get you out of bed in the morning? We could call this purpose your “why,” a vision statement, or a goal. I often refer to it as a dream, because it is a nebulous feeling that can take many forms.

Whew! Life purpose is a big topic. But I think you will find my explanation surprisingly simple. Once we answer this question — What is my dream? — we can then explore how to turn dreams into reality.

By the way, if you don’t know me, you may be wondering what my qualifications are to answer this question. Here’s a quick recap: Long ago, I felt life had no meaning. I was an agnostic on my best days, and a nihilist on the worst. Throw on top of that a genetic proclivity for depression, and life was tough. So, I went on quest around the world on a bicycle searching for answers. Since I returned home, to use colloquial phrasing, I’ve studied under a Buddhist master for 19 years, until he passed away recently. And my explorations of the meaning of life also include research into optimistic thinking as a community professor at the University of Cincinnati.

I did find what I was looking for, though it is a story full of adventures and misadventures. I think you’d find the answer more impactful if you read my book, Falling Uphill, where you can figuratively ride alongside me and make your own discoveries. But, at the risk of trivializing my biggest lessons, below I will describe the first step to being the hero of your own life, which is finding or creating purpose.

The purpose or meaning of life is like peeling an onion

The outer layers

The skin of the onion is inedible and flavorless. The onion skin is like the analogy that the universe is seemingly meaningless, just a mechanical clock ticking away the seconds. This layer could be called nihilism, thinking life is meaningless, knowledge is impossible, and some commonly regarded things don’t even exist. Even if one thinks life is meaningless, one still has to wake every morning and pass the time. So, perhaps their solution is to live a hedonistic lifestyle: Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we shall die. There are more variations of responding to life as if it is meaningless, but let’s move on. By the way, I find it ironic that thinking the world is meaningless is itself a meaning.

The inner layers

The inner layers of the onion, or the deeper meanings of life, are often an external answer, like religion. When I traveled the world, I explored the religion of every culture I visited. It may be no surprise that I found a lot of different answers, and all of them provided a great foundation to give people meaning to their lives and hope for the future. But choosing a religion and following the plans laid out can be difficult, and unless you are gifted with a religious experience, your heart may just not be in it. So, if you are an over-thinker like me, you may conclude that worshipping God is fine, but you still have a life to live. By the way — I’m full of by-the-ways today — if you think God has a plan for you, that puts you back in the same boat. What the heck is God’s plan or purpose for me? Eventually, we peel down to the most personal, inward answer.

The core of the onion

The core of the onion is more satisfying. And for the record, whether you are an atheist or a theist, this answer still works. Here it is. Are you ready?

The purpose of life is to create and to observe your creations in a meaningful and joyful way.

That’s it! To me, the beauty and simplicity of this statement ring true.

Perhaps that statement seems abstract, so here is an example. We recently started fostering kittens. But the kittens themselves aren’t really the goal. Nursing the kittens back to health and finding them a home is the tangible, physical goal. But the bigger goal is the joy that we feel in helping the kittens.

Here’s another example. I really love to garden. Partly because it’s one of the few things that I don’t take too seriously. If the plant dies, I just put in a new one. But my goal is not the tomato. I could easily buy a tomato at the farmer’s market down the street. It would be cheaper too if factoring in all my time. What I love is witnessing the miracle of life. I turned my front lawn into a garden, which became an oasis for butterflies, bees and gold finches. What was nothing but grass, flies and mosquitoes became an amazing tiny ecosystem.

One last example, let’s say you want to go on an adventure. You are probably familiar with the quote:

It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you are on a great and grand journey, you won’t want it to end.

Louise Erdrich says it much more eloquently. This may be my favorite paragraph of all time!

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.

Louise Erdrich, American Author and citizen of the Turtle Mountain Band of Chippewa Indians

Her words remind me that meaning isn’t something we find once — it’s something we create moment by moment.

Creating meaning to your life

So, I’ve established a fundamental meaning to life: The purpose of life is to create and to observe your creations in a meaningful and joyful way. It is a helpful answer because it doesn’t preclude your beliefs. If you are an atheist, you still need to get out of bed every day and do something with yourself. And you get to choose what you create and what it means to you. And if you are spiritually inclined, like I have come to be, you can imagine that you are the eyes and hands of God, creating gardens and miracles of life and joy.

Conclusion

I know this article has some abstract concepts. So in the next, I will explore what you actually create, and how to begin defining your own purpose. But for now, try this:

To find the meaning in what you are doing, ask yourself this question:

When this thing I am doing is done, what will I remember most?

That is a question that deserves a bit of thinking, so I will leave you to digest that.

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